once i was but a child

by Antwan Fields - Aries

as a child i worried about what toys id have 
as a 10-year old i knew was sex was, yet not with the boys
at 11 i was showing signs of masculinity
that i had not shown before
at twelve i had low self-esteem
at thirteen i weighed 265
by 14 i lost 20 pounds
and still did not feel alive
by 15 i had given up hope
that a girl would ever love me
curiously before i turned to my own side
along came she
enchanted by her aura for the first time in my life i came on
and found it was my brother, not me, but that came later in a brand-new dawn
when the split-up, which was inevitable, came i wandered away
and mistakenly wandered into boystown one foggy day
or should i say night? for a month it did not feel right
then one day it clicked and it all became tight
and it proceeded till i stood up and yelled
this is my time! i will not be felled!!
now i look askance. yes it is my time
i have many many friends and lovers and we all are on a dime
as a man i now worry about my life and what course it will take
i shiver and then out of anger i shake
and while ive graduated from low self-esteem to self-denial
i refuse to deny that once i was but a child
my father went to prison at 9, and Freud would have thought
that that began the whole series of events that has been wrought
my love is rejected, and while its nifty
i have two wishes: to be rich and live past 50.
Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2001-10-08 11:03:20
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:45:10
Poem ID: 65346

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