to love someone too much

by Twan - Aries

as jesse ruins his life with the shit that gets you high
jimmy becomes fleeting in the shadows
octavious sits in jail waiting
alfredo has disappeared
anthony is in vegas, probably recording an album
and angel my lovely, who knows
as danny becomes obsolete in my mind
and they float around me laughing and joking
and rick becomes my cross that i bear down the road
so it goes

and i still love all of them
maybe too much
to do things for them i  would not do for any one else
it makes more sense than it did before
which isn't much
they have become my second family
but it isn't yet there

where i can't trust friends i had for years
i can trust others
i've become predictable
and i've become my own worst enemy
i detest who i have become
i want but one thing
to know...
that i love
with all the force in my body and all the strength in my mind
that i love 
too much
and when they finally disappoint me, i hurt inside.

juan is gone. no one has seen him
julio is somewhere i know nowhere 
amis is where? on the west side
vernon is getting married
sam belongs somewhere
kool-aid?? i don't know
and me?
i don't know where i belong
who i want to be with
or who i love
anymore.
Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2001-12-27 19:55:22
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:45:29
Poem ID: 66380

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