what am i to do now
i'm sitting here watching
the candle flicker in the night
my reflection, my shadow
dancing to the movements
of the candle light
i'm drowning in memories
each one about you
and all the time that was left
between you and me
i'm unrightfully mad at god
but right when i say
you were taken away from me
it was my first time
to ever feel those words
strike me inside, and i'll never forget
it will be my last time
to feel it again,
i am punished by feeling
the same way you did
i'm left with this emotion alone
i never meant to fall in love with you
but i did, and i can't stop loving you
i never want to feel anything close to this
as much happiness it brings
there is much pain in it's bliss
i've never said it before
i think i never will
i can't, i'm not ready
to love again
4/15/97*original date
1/12/01**revised ("R" Series)
Reason for writing:
this originally first poem of the "R" Series i wrote after a dear friend of mine had just passed away...4/11. all poems written for her were released because they were completed on time...this particular poem was put aside, because i felt the message was a bit to bold to make, especially since i still have an entire lifetime ahead of me. i've recently become involved with someone, and i am feeling more than what i've felt before..so i felt comfortable releasing this poem after revising it 4 years later.
Birth sign: Capricorn
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