Sarah is driving herself insane, but doesn't know why.
She always tells herself "do I feel the way I hate? or do I hate the way I feel?" She doesn't know why she wants to die, she's only 25. She's on the floor, looking at the roof of the church trying to tell the truth, and it hurts.
Twisting and turning her feelings of this life are burning away. She takes her problems and advises they're fine, she says there's nobody left in line to try and make her feelings shine.
Inside what makes her think is a gin and tonic mind, as she tries to find the perfect place to lose her vain.
She looks at the cross in the church and tells herself "Jesus is her connection, connects her ressurection.
Jesus is her chaser, she wishes to crawl up to heaven away from the strangers." She askes herself " Why is it so funny that God we trust, but don't trust us" We beg, we pray, but why does everything still happen anyway?
How can I explain her own ways of pain, how can I explain as she slowly slips into her vain, how can I explain the way she's gone insane?
As she falls on the church floor, on her cheeks are tears, she points a gun into her ear, it points to all her fears.
She says "tell me all your thoughts on god, cause i'm on my way to see him." She puts the gun back up to her head, and wishes to be happy. As she thinks of suicide, she wonders how nice it would be to die, how nice it would be to be crucified. As she thinks about her life and how she's living a lie, but she thinks her tears are going to drown her anyway.
She thinks to herself "at least if i die today, then tomorrow I won't to feel any sorrow. Goodbye to the world, my place in heaven is waiting in the sky.
She tried to move on, but it all just went wrong. She tried to spend her life happily, but just lost her faith for the world in the end.
She wishes to reach her fate, as hate fills her mind. She's finally built up enough courage to pull her own trigger.
On her way to heaven she looks down on this crazy world and says "at least i'm back from this haze, but I'd buy my life back at whatever it cost, I want my life back now that it is lost. I could have fixed the problems in my life if only i would have tried"
A thousand light couldn't light
up the darkness in her life.
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Reason for writing:
Man i was having the worst day of my life. i won't even share with you what happened, cause i dont' want your sympathy. lets just say i was hating life at the most that day. lets just say you love poetry when poetry is all you got.
Birth sign: Gemini
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