Today

by ~Ms. Sarah~ - Cancer

I think Im always trying to make everyone else
happy and never myself
It stresses me out when I cant please someone
Maybe because Im so eager to be liked
No one knows or will ever quite understand the
confusion in my mind
Im fighting a war against myself
And cant tell yet whether it will
result in victory or defeat
But im struggling to survive
Pushing back this depression that so strongly
trying to crawl in
I wont let it break me
Ive come this far, its such a waste to stop now
Its just not the end
But im so scared, terrified even of 
whats to come in the future
All this hard work, I just need a rest
To lie my tired head down
But im afraid if I shut my eyes now
I may never open them
For weakness and temptation are so easy to given in to
To just quit and say Im done
Finshed with this whole thing
Ive never thought I wasnt stroung enough until now
Being treated unfairly and looked down upon
is making me have doubts
Doubting my inner strength
Doubting my self-worth
Doubting that my small existence in this
huge world even means a thing
So where do I fit in?
Whats my place? Why do I matter?
The unanswered questions that race through
my brain never stop
My thoughts are constantly clouded and I cant
even concencrate on being me
Ive lost myself and need to be found once again
Someone come and put me on the right track,Guide me along
I look for help, but who do I trust?
Whose really right?
Im exhausted, but sleep never comes
The hours turn to days and I see the sun come up and
I see the sun go down and my eyelids never move
Im overwhelmed and my head pounds, throbs, aches for
the knowledge of whats to come
Im so worried of what will happen next that
Im not living now
My life is passing me by and soon I wont know
whats the past, whats the present and which
direction is the future
Im letting go today
of the pain, the frustration and the problems that
are pestering my soul, eating away at me
Im gonna live for today and make people
please me for a change
Ill never be happy until I can be happy on my own
So Im starting...today



Birth sign: Cancer
Date created: 2002-02-21 01:00:35
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:13
Poem ID: 67720

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