When I held you in my arms All I could do was shed a tear So tiny, so perfect Forever so very dear You grabbed at my finger enclosed it in your tiny fist A love beat through me so powerful Your face I never could resist Little man just like his Daddy Soft downy hair with eyes so blue And me so infatuated consumed by my love for you The doctor tells me gently something is not right fear steals inside of me grips my heart so very tight We fear your son has cancer Some kind of problem with his eye He needs to see a specialist Don't know if it can be put right Struggle through each day trying not to let you go Praying to a God whom I don't believe in Don't you dare take him from me so Big sister sits there crying Sadness in her tiny face Struggling to understand why doctors stare at her brothers face Tubes falling every where a gentle hand upon my shoulder The doctor smiles and tells us It isn't retinoblastoma Before my heart can sigh relief Before I can scream and jump for joy He said he will not die but there is still something very wrong with your boy It's rare and unpredictable there is nothing we can do Your son will still be perfect but with one eye instead of two He will never use his eye it's not formed right inside But I don't hear a word he says My baby will not die! He will need an operation In the years ahead we'll have to take that eye out He'll have a prothesis instead And so they took his eye at the tender age of three And when they gave him his prothesis he turned and laughed at me Oh mummy I look so handsome And the tears fell from my eyes For once he looked just perfect not only in my eyes I often wonder how I would feel If my son had been taken and if my nightmare had been real Could my heart have been repaired from breaking? But I look at him and smile And thank the earth that he's still near And the swelling in my heart from the laughter that I hear I know more about the human eye Than I ever wanted to know All for the love of him And the need to show him so He showed me something beautiful Deep and very real That seeing isn't everything the important thing in life is to feel.
Reason for writing:
I wish this could capture the true depth of what my family went through when my son was diagnosed with a very rare eye disease at four days old. He is almost four now and not a day goes by that I don't thank the powers that be for his health and his sisters health.
Birth sign: Scorpio
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