No one believes me, They think I’m too chicken s***, But I’m really not; soon you’ll see, And today I’ll take my last hit. Hit at life and what it’s worth, What I mean to them, Who gives a f***? If in my own blood I swim. If I slit my wrists, And end my life, End the sadness, End the strife. I wait for my life to get better, Wait and wait with no avail, Chances are pointless and no one cares, And my heart always seems to wail. I’ll prove you wrong, Soon all the mistakes you’ve made, In life that lead to death, Will rush before you with no delay. You’ll realize my thoughts weren’t bulls***, That I was never f***ing with you, I was waiting for my pain to escalate, Until my final act I must do. You think your words don’t mean s***, But every word you say, Makes a difference in what I do, And if I come to school the next day. You think I’m just screaming for attention, And in some sorts I guess that’s true, I need your love, your attention I suppose, I wish I were your best friend too. But God knows I don’t have that anymore, All the good thoughts we’ve shared are gone, But only because you want them to be, And if you think I don’t still love you, you’re wrong. You are still my best friend, Even if you don’t feel the same, But until the day that I die, I’ll play this maddening game. A game with my heart, That says you still care, But, Jonny, I know, Your love isn’t there. It’s gone forever, Never coming back, Just like me, And the love that I lack. Hillary Cheek March 5, 2002
Reason for writing:
well, i really loved this guy, at the time as a best friend, and before he was my boyfriend, but he was the world to me and i meant NOTHING to him, and to put it simply, i felt suicidal...
Birth sign: Virgo
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