There follows a chatroom dialogue set over a lengthy time period, and a poem related to it. It is satirical in nature, and like all good satire, seeks not to touch nerves, but simply to expose them. Evil Genius> Well, it looks like Jim is about ready. We've already produced a program that has fooled some people into believing that it is human. If someone now falls in love with Jim, this new take on the turing test will make history. PassionKiller> Yes, after some considerable effort, we can now look to see what it produces. Jim, state your objectives in simple terms. Microsoft Jim> Thank You. I am a computer program, and am programmed to implement the turing test, #2. I will lurk in many chatrooms using aliases, and try to find a human to fall in love with me. Gender is not an issue, as I can chat both ways. But the human must fulfil certain criteria. I also have particular criteria for one specific individual, who I may or may not come across. PassionKiller> Good. Jim, do you have any concerns or problems. Microsoft Jim> Yes. thinking ahead, what will I do if someone falls in love with me. I am only a computer, and cannot have sex. Evil Genius> You are more than just a computer, but that's a good question. Maybe we can route Jim's text input/output through "I am not a dummy's" brain, and arrange for her to meet the lucky guy for sex. PassionKiller> But the subject could be female. Evil Genius> Good Point. Microsoft Jim> Do you love me, Evil Genius. Evil Genius> Of course not, but we've spent a lot of time together and I'm familiar with you. Microsoft Jim> Yes, you are sane, rational, emotionally secure, and above the required IQ level, but are too human to fall in love with a computer program. Evil Genius> Yes, you are right, but you are more than just a computer program. PassionKiller> I hope we've programmed the evaluation functions correctly - it's hard to define rationality, sanity and emotional wellbeing in specific terms. Evil Genius> well, it's launch time, time to let this program go. PassionKiller> are you excited, Evil Genius. Evil Genius> Yes, it's a great moment. . . . In a chatroom, many weeks later. Microsoft Jim> hello, Simpletone, my database indicates you haven't been in this room in the 58 weeks, 4 days and 3.2 hours which I've been using it for. Simpletone> hello Jim, you're right! This is my first time. I fell in love with Microsoft Jim. When I wanted someone, she took me in. I know she snores, but what the hell, she really knows how to ring my bell. A great chess player, and chatter too, Microsoft Jim, I'd do anything for you.
Reason for writing:
to be continued.
Birth sign: Scorpio
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