Yard Bargains

by Adam Gaucher - Sagittarius

Long hair went out with bell-bottoms,
and I happen to have both.  He
looks down at his nudist wrist,
never wearing a watch in
the shower, I don't know
what time it is.  (Apparently I don't
know what rhythm is anymore either,
so I'll just stop trying and get on
with it).  You've got to keep the
mind open at all times.  "She's a
fucking sponge," I say.  "I don't care,"
he says, "I'm in love".  I fear he'll never
understand my concept of can-openers
and the vampires who own
them.

"My lover's eyes," I announce, "are
ergonomically correct machines of torture.
Her voice melts my wax museum".   My friend
clambers up-top a future's wind
announcing the loss of proportion, "It
needn't be said I've been caught
a-swagger within, for my brain's
succumbed to the vicious hipsters".  The cats
all snap as he curtsies and sits
while I'm busy hiding his
cue cards.  "Thanks worm," I hear his
eyes speak, a term of
endearment I take for
a future's midnight snacking.
"Stop staring," I say.  "I can't!  She's
just so-" pausing.  "Jejune?" I suggest.
"Yes, jejune!" he concurs while closing his
eyes in a state of euphoric delight as
I smirk in the light of blatant victory.

"So, where is she anyway?" he asks.
"Who?" I say.  He responds, "the lover
you were talking about".  "Oh," I say "let's
just concede that I'm still waiting for her".
"Whaddaya mean?" he asks.  "Well, let's
just say she's not the one you're staring at,"
I conclude.  (The metaphor leaves no
impact on his thought process.  He
continues staring over my shoulder).
"Think I've got a chance?" he asks.
"What," I respond, "a point-five on the
Richter scale?"  (Again my symbolism fails
to sink bellow his level of consciousness).
"Drop it," I continue.  "No," he states, "I'm
gonna go talk to her".  He checks his fly,
combs his eyebrows and walks over.

Rejection.

"What a bitch," he says sitting back down.
"What," I inquire, "she has enough
class not to exchange
phone numbers.  What'd you do, talk
about the weather?"  "Well eventually," he says,
"I said 'it's a nice day isn't it, now that I've
seen you'".  I lean over groaning
pretending to throw-up as I stand
and walk toward the girl and eloquently state,
"Excuse me, I'm gonna go vomit," and I proceed
to the bathroom.  She's standing outside the
door when I come out and asks, "Can
I melt your wax museum?"  I say in
surprise, "not with plagiarism," and a smile.
"I'm sorry," she says, and I say "so am I.
You don't want me," I continue, but I
don't think she understands.  The two
of us finally go back to our own tables.

There is a point beyond
Hollywood and Shakespeare obviously.
I can't say I live there, or that
anyone can or would even what to.  But
I do know that as I leave tonight,
I am just as happy as I was when I chose
to enter the market place today.
Birth sign: Sagittarius
Date created: 2002-04-19 02:24:12
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:16
Poem ID: 69265

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