Ode of a Broken Heart

by Seaweed - Cancer

Ode of a Broken Heart
Twenty two days ago I lost my only love
I couldn’t tell you why or how
I’ve been through every process
Completed every step
Only to relapse and whisper ‘I love you’ in my head to him each day
He’s not the one I fell in love with now
The differences are frightening and clear
In every mannerism I witness (which is rare)
I see the slow, torturous ‘death’ being endured
...Endured?  Is that the right word?
Am I surviving or adapting?
Mourning, or crying like a newborn into a new world?
I refuse to be alone-
You can’t take the coward’s way out, then
I roam in the woods and fields
Basking in Mother Earth’s caress
I bathe in Father Sun’s warmth and Sister Moon’s mystery
Yet no moment in the heavens answers
Why us?  Why me?  Why the best I’ve ever had?
My head is chaotic with conflicting resolution
My heart is smoldering with metamorphosing ruin
‘To live and learn and to love,
To create and continue and grow...’
How do I finish this?
How do I go on?
What makes it all better and heals this pain?
Time, that’s hilarious
Especially for one as old as I
Old enough to know better,
Young enough to be helpless
I want to say ‘I’m over with it,
I’m walking away, I’m through’
But I can’t just turn off my heart
I can’t imagine beginning anew
To my love, should he ever read this,
I am forever yours
I’ll always love you
I hope you remember and grow and heal and know
There’s nothing you can say or I can do
To wield another love in history
Like the love I’ll keep for you
Now, be free!!!
Explore, change and find yourself
Maybe you’ll take me with you in a way...
But as for me, today is good-bye, my love...
This is my brand new day.

Reason for writing:

    I recently went through a really, really bad breakup.  My boyfriend has changed a lot...  He's got a bad tissue bruise in his head and he is very ill.  He is going through a lot, and I love him still, but I don't understand what's going on in my life right now but everyone around me is being really supportive and this is a bit of a milestone for me because finally I am beginning to rest and not be so stressed.  This has been hell for me, and I really love him still.  I think I always will.    

Birth sign: Cancer
Date created: 2002-04-22 22:43:31
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:46:23
Poem ID: 69344

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