Struggle

by Angie Nisley - Pisces

People say live and learn,
and not to let things get you down.
But with the shit I've been through,
I'm lucky I didn't drown.

A life full of fucked up shit,
full of constant hurt.
A life of constant struggle,
a life of fucking dirt.

Full of hiding and crying,
being ashamed and scared.
Not wanting to live on,
speaking up only if I dared.

A life of shamefulness,
and a whole lot of heartbreak.
Never ending tears,
there isn't much more I can take.

A good for nothing father,
who was more in love with booze.
When it came down to his family or alcohol,
we knew what he'd choose.

Having to hide in my closet,
when he came home late at night.
Trying not to pay attention,
as I heard him and my mother fight.

Having to hear him beat my mom,
pounding her from one wall to another.
I could never have made it through them times,
if it hadn't been for the love from my brother.

She finally got up the nerve,
and kicked his ass to the curb.
But that was only the beginning,
of my life that's so disturbed.

She soon met another guy,
a real ass hole of a man.
Why she fell in love with him,
I will never understand.

He putt my family through more shit,
then I could ever explain.
He was so fucked up in the head,
basically he was insane.

I had to pretty much rase myself,
and learn lifes lessons on my own.
It's pretty fucked up and hard,
when for you there's no love shown.

One day I finally met this guy,
I thought was really great.
Till I got to know him,
and realized he was a huge mistake.

He took me for granted,
I was used and abused.
It's hard to think of reasons to hide,
every part of your body that's bruised.

He made me feel like nothing,
as if I had much self-esteem to start.
He fucked with my head in every way,
and completely broke my heart.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse,
then they already where.
He rapped me repeatedly,
now my life's a blur.

I finally grew up strength,
to get away from that piece of shit.
Even though I thought I was nothing,
I knew I couldn't give up, knew I couldn't quit.

I struggled on living my life,
and trying to make things right.
Even though every day is a constant struggle,
every day is a fucking fight.

I still deal with a dick head father,
who could care fucking less.
He could give two fucking shits,
that he made my life a mess.

I'm sure one day I'll look back and realize,
how the shit in my life helped me grow.
But all the pain and suffering I had to go through,
makes it hard for my feelings to show.

I have learned one thing,
from all this fucked up shit in my life.
Living isn't easy, it's more like a pain in the ass,
a constant stabbing of a knife.
Birth sign: Pisces
Date created: 2002-04-28 18:49:01
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:16
Poem ID: 69424

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