I Am Still

by Twan - Aries

I am still this person i always was
(aw naw, hell naw) no this thing won't work
doubting myself and firing myself
qualities and duties i shirk
massacre 

watching six feet under seeing red getting blasted
how long my relationships have ever lasted??
you are sickened by me and dying by my hand
let forever now have to have began
and let me be

let me elaborate on my situation 
let the money become a combination 
of robbery and deprecation
to the chagrin of a nation
let me tell you about the hassle of being black
having cops look at you all the time
or the hassle of being a poet 
having always to have to rhyme
let me tell you about my game of just being gay and happy
without going overboard and not getting sappy
and i want to know why i am still here
with the things that happen with me 
looking throughlife through the eyes of a tirehub with glee
let me tell you about the hassle of being black, gay, and articulate in a country like this
gee,there's the kind of pain that i actually miss

i am still a good person
what the fuck does that count for
when every pimp and jackass and cokehead
are getting ahead like a whore??
is respect no longer required and everything i feel
have i no shame or anything that is real??
and i am still a human being and yet still no one cares
than no matter what i do what heart haven't i got there

you have no idea what santeria is
you think you know it all
but i am still here 
even though...
sometimes i fear 
that i will leave.

I am still here.
Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2002-04-28 22:03:01
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:46:25
Poem ID: 69427

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