i haven't thought about her in a couple of years she was one of those people that drift in and out of your life usually re-appearing when you need what they have to offer the most leaving you wondering how they always manage to do that... i remember her eyes they always sparkled reminding me of blue diamonds and her smile is so gorgeous one of those you see and the only thing left to do is smile back she once showed me a photo taken of her before she 'found herself' her hair was silky, dark and so long she was nothing less than striking i mean, she was still so with short hair...just in a 'cuter' way we worked in the same company for years both in positions of high stress and besides the usual knowledge you gain of someone by working closely with them we had this connection...just felt we never really got past the point of 'social scene' friendship and spent most of our nights with 'the group' at happy hour drowning our daily dramas and just trying to find our way home most of us dreading whatever was waiting for us there except kim... she and her girlfriend had just bought a house she had a great job, good friends and she was so positive to be around it was very hard to avoid her light that was always beaming in the darkness in 1998 there was a merger and we all found ourselves looking for jobs and i did just that about 6 months later and by coincidence, or maybe not, kim had just taken a job at the same company so we met for lunch one day and then the next and then it was just an everyday occurence occassionally we would still meet up with everyone else and have drinks after work her life had turned topsey turvey her girlfriend left right after the layoff and in the devastation and wreckage she was still waging an internal battle of 'to be or not to be' i will never forget those lunches, those talks or her eyes and the complete understanding of me they held as she listened it may not always be at the forefront of mind but just as it did today at times, it will sneak up on me and i will remember just how much i have been missing it all along at that time in my life just her being there her listening her telling me things like 'there isn't anything about you not to love, only someone trying to make you believe that there is so people who could really love you, like me, will never have the chance.' and i knew she meant that and she was right i just didn't know how to change it i only knew that i couldn't love her the way she needed me to love her nor give her those things she saw in me that she so badly needed and when i would smile at her and say 'im sorry, i just like men too much' she would wink at me and say 'that's your problem and it's always gonna be, but i'll be around when you figure that out.' and you know what she is around lingering in those places she touched me that only she could my heart breaks when i think of those sparkling eyes and that smile i will never forget her... and yeah, she touched me she'll just probably never know how much.Birth sign: Virgo
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