i remember sitting on the porch on 13th, reading dante's inferno, not because i thought it was good, but because i thought i should read it, so when i name- dropped it to make myself sound smarter, more cultured, i would be able to inject sincerity into my ruse. and actually, i wasn't sitting, i was laying, in a hammock, the same hammock i was laying in the night i came enlightened irene with a piece of wisdom inspired by said hammock: never start shit in a hammock. but the day i speak of remembering does not include irene in a direct, physical manner. it includes nothing more than myself, the porch, the hammock, the book (signet classic paperback), and a pipe, the first pipe i ever owned, bought in an oddities shop in clifton, ohio, on the university if cincinnatti's campus, some 45 minutes before a Fugazi show, circa 1993. it was pearl white with a wooden bowl. it held a shitload of weed. for some time, we believed it housed elves. it broke one day. like almost everything else between birth and death. on this day it was alive and well, full of sticky green goodness, and the sun was shining through the leaves of our front trees. it was a tuesday or one of those days, when students were being students and workers were being workers and i was being neither, chosing instead be reading a book that was kinda blah and retaining none of it due to the interference of thoughts concerning guinness and pool and a juke box with AENIMA on it and enough Sabbath and Motorhead to drunken up a mormon. and the cocaine upstairs, and maybe a few shots of jager... but what i'm trying to convey is that it wasn't the inferno i was concentrating on. i remembered all this today because it is getting harder and harder to remember the freedom associated with surrender. the power of knowing your victory has been accomplished by nothing more than allowing yourself to be defeated. i sincerly wish that people would put more effort into understanding the page they just finished reading before they barreled headstrong into the next.Birth sign: Cancer
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