Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone felt shitty, even the mouse. Mom on the toilet, dad smokin grass, I just settled down for a nice piece of ass. When out on the roof there arose such a clatter. I went to go see what the fuck was the matter. Out on the roof I saw an old prick. I knew in a moment that it must be St. Nick. I also saw with a drop of a tear, a busted ass sleigh and ten crackhead reindeer. He fell down my chiminey like a bat out of hell. I knew in a moment that the fucker had fell. He got his fat ass up facing the door, tripped on his pecker and fell to the floor. He filled all our stockings with whiskey and beer and a big rubber dick for my brotha the queer. He flew up my chiminey with a thunderous fart. The son of a bitch blew my chiminey apart. He also flew up with half of dad's bar, flew over the house and got hit by a car. I heard him exclaim as the ambulance closed both it's doors...FUCK ALL OF YOU BITCHES, I AINT DOIN THIS SHIT NO MORE...
Reason for writing:
I just thought that I'd roast Santa a little bit. I've hated Santa since I found out his name is Satan with the letters screwed.
Birth sign: Scorpio
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