Three Days in ICU

by Nicole M. - Gemini

I pray for the days
  when love was my only heartache

Those three days
   turned any other despair
Into a joke
   juvenile and unsubstantial

Holding a hand
   that only moved
because of involuntary contractions
   (that didn't stop me from forcing myself
  to believe
 it was you)

I don't believe I ate
   but I drove
back and forth
  to home
where I knew
   you were

Although
    I lied
and told myself
   otherwise

We surrounded you
  with love
prayers 
   and tears

The choice was made
   and a small part of me 
thought
   it would have been ok

But you finally let go
    and it wasn't as peaceful
as I would have hoped

Your face was contorted
   with real pain
although they said
    it was just muscles

But it was the face
   of the man
who had loved me
   protected me
encouraged me
and taught me
  It was the face of my father
They were not just muscles

It was not just muscles
     that made such a crippling face
It was not just muscles
  clenching your fists
fighting

Even I cannot explain
  the horror 
with helplessness
    when you died.
Birth sign: Gemini
Date created: 2005-07-29 00:18:43
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:46:51
Poem ID: 70837

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