I walk alone within the darkness on a never-ending search to find the salvation that I have longed for my whole life. My path has been darkend by the actions of my past which I hold myself accountable for. I walk along and come before the Throne of Grace in the presence of my bretheren a broken spirit of my own doing graciously asking for some sign to follow while peering towards the Gates of Hell with the peripheral vision of my minds eye. I instantly damned myself the night I chose a life's preservation over my duties and obligations to the one I call Lord. Now with life anew I try to work my way back to Heaven, but the path of gold has turned dark and has disappeared from my sight. I drift alone in this ominous darkness with a daunting fear of damnation only matched in it's depths by my will to preserve my spirit. Do I seek the Lord thy God will all of my heart, soul and spirit knowing that He had a hand in taking what was most important to me? Do I follow Him knowing that deep down I feel hatred for the pain that He has brought into my life? Or do I fall back into darkness deeper than any soul or being can imagine? I no longer see an overall purpose for my soul. I have no testimony. Only gripes that have led me to want to rebel against all in preservation of myself. But after all is done, where will I be? Still stuck in the same ominous darkness that consumes me with each and every day I wake to see with no path to follow and no end in sight.
Reason for writing:
I am truly lost. I don't what to believe in or worship anymore. The Lord has always been my focus through adversity, but my faith is blowing in the wind as a leaf does during the storm. I want to find my place again.
Birth sign: Scorpio
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