Lord, I want to hate You so much for the situations You let my family and I go through. I want to hate You because You perform masssive miracles for people on a daily basis and You couldn't give me one little one. I want to hate You because You let the Devil take one of the things that was closest to my heart, my son. I know we've had our problems. I should've never stepped down from my place and chose life over You, but You always taught us to do what we feel is right. I felt that night, a life's presevation was right because he did so much for us. He was there for us when we needed him and You know it. I felt obligated to continue his work, that's why I chose to fall from grace. Lord, though we are not on the same level right now, I know that You have not turned away from me though it feels like You have. I felt that I needed some space from You after what transpired and You gave it to me. I realize now what being Man truly is and it is a long and painful process. I now know that I want to see Your face once again my Lord. One day I hope that I can make back to You and dwell within my old home. No matter how I felt after our situation Lord, I still made a vow to You and I will keep it. I still vow to protect this realm with my life from all darkness. I live for You and die for Your ways. I continue to fight for the light so that the shadows of darkness may recede. Lastly Lord, I vowed that I would die for everyone in this world no matter what race, creed, color or belief and that will never change. -Amen
Reason for writing:
I finally took myself out of the rut I was in and realized that in order to keep my vow to God, my brethern and my son that I need to be strong and continue to grow stronger. I can't live in self pity or I will end up killing myself and dishonoring the memory of my son. Whoever reads this, know that this wasn't only for God, but my vow to you also. I will do the best I can until my last breath to protect you all. -Uriel
Birth sign: Scorpio
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