Wake up to see a mirror. Another night has passed I don't know where I've been But it didn't last. I rub my hands over my face, And the bedroom swirls I find myself running, along with the other squirrels. Avoid everyone partially attractive, because they find me disgusting I stride on, but the steel of my confidence is rusting. A smile I paste on my face, seems way too phony I'm fat and ugly, not cute and bony Maybe I won't eat, that'll solve the weight but making myself vomit won't erase all the hate. You've felt me up, say call me sometime But you never answer the phone, I've lost my dime As a teenager I ran, laughingly I take As a man I find myself unable to cure the ache There's someone for everyone, says Mom, it's true but my someone isn't looking for me and doesn't think like you. What man looks down on me and my one nighters? Our faces only reflected in the glow from cigarette lighters. What I did as a kid only stays in that smile But I have nothing to say, I haven't in awhile They say I am cute, and I shouldn't worry but those words fly off in a frenzied flurry Ugliness envelopes me, the chatterbox fed but that is never said out loud, all in my head With a bag on my face, I imagine people say when they look at me as a candidate for tonight's lay But I imagine this, so when the guy buys me a drink I look at him suspiciously, and start to think My own insecurity is the culprit for this The ship of my confidence, starting to list maybe I'm just not his type, there's no link And the ship turns over, and it starts to sink Man overboard! Yells pierce the night And then the noise faded, as did I, from sight.
Reason for writing:
Feeling unattractive, though people tell me I'm good looking. It's a leftover from teenage days.
Birth sign: Aries
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