Zipcode

by J James - Pisces

I haven't sat in a two seater
With my back against the wall
Since I've been in my teens
I recognize this as
Unimportant...
Matter of fact 
I don't feel very major
Background.
Comic relief.
My arms are shaking
Like they're quietly 
Trying to escape from my body
Because I said the wrong thing
Or wronged you by my actions
And the rest of my body
Wishes they can come too
Maybe ill send a postcard
From an undisclosed location
Maybe in that zipcode
I won't feel like such a basterd
Speaking of...
I was talking about my dad today
And I feel like a bastard by definition
Granted the first five years
Of my life
He was
My life
But I loved an idea
A creation of a man in my mind
That really didn't exist
I didn't know him
I scotch tape fact and fiction
Every few years trying to figure him out
There's no one to prove wrong
Just fighting my way out
Of a thick blanket about 17 yrs long
I'm trying to rediscover
Love that I composed
Digging for fools gold
This makes my eyes jerk
And twist out of welling up
Instead they dart towards
The nearest dig
The biggest near miss is yet to come.
Fighting love
Is the feeble fighting the mighty
A tiny part of me recognizes
The temptation
A bigger part of me 
Feels the rationale (sp?) dwindeling
Simmering in my unsettling seat 
I meet my reservations head on
They beat me like Ike
But I ache for more
The sun awards this sky 
With light that divides 
Today from yesterday
The way it was presented was
Straight from the heart to the head
Lying in bed with a 
Limp conscience
Is worse than a lying lover
Guilt hovers like 
Clouds we associate with
Cars, trains and aeroplanes
The sick, sad and insane
The heart 
The illusion 
The effort in vain
The inane reasons we try so hard 
To not try
the effort to try to drag
Outta me the obvious 
Is like pulling teeth from a toddler
Albeit odder for to be tight lipped
She jumped shit from loyalty 
And she's drowning...
We hang on to objects that
We've created...hard water.
I'm having a boat race with two sinking ships
These lips were sealed
And these eyes are swelled 
With overwhelming regret...
But our transluesence was a sure bet.

Reason for writing:

    2 drunken rides home and one sad one    

Birth sign: Pisces
Date created: 2006-06-13 20:34:40
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:17
Poem ID: 71377

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