okay so here's the deal i'm spending most of the time i have left on this planet whining about practically every inch of my exsistence. this behavior hasn't pummeled my conscious thought enough to push me into anything substantial to fix my psychological tires, i just keep riding on the rims, rendering them useless. a new set of tires is not going to be enough to keep me moving.where the hell is road service? the stentch of mental rubber offends the nostrils and clouds my perception. what is generally a perfectly fine day for almost everyone else has me in tears, somehow everthing is all my fault even if it isn't, when i get through running all the scenarios through my analytical plumbing everthing seems to look like shit. i am a nasty unhappy little individual, with a bad case of the i can'ts, and the legendary poor poor pitiful me. when am i going to get out of the lane for break-downs? all life's traffic is speeding past me, do i get out and risk flagging down a ride? the sign on the post clearly states to remain with your disabled vehicle; but i don't have a membership for that road service i was bitching about earlier, i'm cashed out financially and spiritually. how do i renew my faith? by keeping it? i'm pretty sure it's the only thing i might have left, you notice i use the word might.that would be because my faith in myself barely has a pulse. go ahead put a mirror under it's nose see if it's still breathing? you say your reflection is a bit blurry? damn maybe there's still hope! if i ignore that man-made fucking sign and go with the one i feel, the one that says "you still have two legs and your'e not dead yet." all the while begging the question why you silly fool don't you walk? this is true and if i walk away from this on my own speed i won't be taking a ride with any strangers. i'll be going with God and the gift he has given me, my life. God will be my road service and the membership is free. lexi
Reason for writing:
the reason is to compell myself to stay in touch with the reality of my problems and how i can gain power over them through the inspiration of spirituality.
Birth sign: Leo
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