Imagine.

by Twan - Aries

Easy if you try to imagine many things
Easy if you know what the summit shall bring
Easy if you marry the one you adore
Easy if you attend Maryland-E.Shore
Easy to believe in the fairness of man
Easy if devastasation of my world was planned
Easy to imagine the love you had for me
dying in a hail of flame and sliding beneath the sea.

Tell me who I'd like to have? Tell me if I can grind
Tell me what the hell I have and how can I find?
A buddhist outlook on this vale I possess
I started with lofty goals. So far I have so much less
I could give away all possessions, shave my head
And I could suppress all memory, fear, even dread
But I'd feel nothing, I'd feel all shame
A voice speaks close to my ear: "Choose your game" 

This is what God wants, said this man on my screen
And I roll my eyes because you make me feel so unclean
I can't hide it anymore, the way I feel
And no matter what I do, well, I'll feel like a heel.
Coming out without saying it, my birthday was fun
And I confessed to more family, moments in the sun
I don't care what you do as long as you're safe, and don't walk the ledge
Said my favorite aunt to me, as she gave me the pledge.

I always knew my cousin was gay, but I never said a word
And what I did have to say turned into milky curd
When I ran into him at Horizons, and Halsted Street I knew
As I stared in his eyes the realization grew
So I put my arm around him, and drew him to the side
And one of his friends tried to pull him away, and almost died.
I glared into his face and spoke really slow:
"This is my cousin, you arrogant little mo"

He unconvincingly said "I'm not gay" and these are just friends.
Right, sure, okay, that's why I feel like I have the bends.
Like I was punched in the stomach, and kicked low down
And for a hot second I felt any second, here comes the ground.
But it came to me, I can't protect him, I didn't really before
And even if he came out here I would a lot more.
I wanted to say anything, wish he wasn't here to fly
but if I did I'd be a hypocrite, and then I'd want to die.

So I said "Kid, does anyone know exactly where you are?"
And I don't know how you got here, but I know you went too far. 
Well, maybe I didn't say this, because I was still in shock
He wasn't just in b'town, he was ON MY BLOCK
Finally, I said "be careful, and don't stay out too late"
And with a sigh and a wave I left him to his fate.
For all my surroundings, I might as well have been in Rome.
And immediately afterward, I just went home.

Reason for writing:

    A cousin of mine is officially living the gay lifestyle. And I basically found this out the hard way almost three years ago, when I first ran into him on Halsted Street I was at the 7-11 on Halsted and Roscoe. And so were his buddies. He wasn't out then. And, on my birthday, I found he was going through hell because of it.    

Birth sign: Aries
Date created: 2007-03-30 05:49:20
Last updated: 2021-04-14 17:18:17
Poem ID: 71626

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