FAther forsaken thou

by chanel - Virgo

you could leave me
at a bus stop
with fifty dollars
in my hand
and say goodbye forever
to the only half that made you complete
and i could see in your eyes
that you knew
you were taking
away my innocence...
my sense of security and
the tiniest thread of sanity
that i had left
and i could feel the noose 
fastening around my neck
slowly
but surely
sucking
every 
piece 
of 
miserable life
stuck
inside me...
and i know
i wasnt the best daughter
and i know
i was so introverted i couldnt communicate
to tell you
that i needed you
like a statistical child
needed a father
and i tried so hard not to let your abandonment
affect me negatively
i never wanted to be a statistic
but your absentee face
appeared in dusty cracks and corners
begging to be swept under rugs and sofas
but you haunted me
in every man i laid in bed
with
in every man i gave myself so freely to
with out an ounce of respect for myself


and all along 
you knew my fate
on that april afternoon...
you let me
imprison myself
in promiscuity
and self abuse


and all along 
i loved you so much
put you on a shelf
that no one could dust
because 
youre just too pristine
to be cleaned


i never hated a man so much

if you needed a kidney
dont call me




Reason for writing:

    true story..its shity but whatever    

Birth sign: Virgo
Date created: 2008-02-07 07:25:43
Last updated: 2021-03-03 14:47:08
Poem ID: 71776

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