So here I sit, drink in hand, in the darkened room peering silently through the purposeful gloom glances will be shot furtively, words will be spoken softly people will fall in and out of love in seconds I sit regally, perched above it all, or at least pretend to be What do you know, cookie, what about me? Through this life we go, treading lightly, watching each other be Regarding each other and other people warily Of course it's home alone after this to lament what might have been but for... but for what? Nothing was done, we all watched from the shadows And somewhere in the background the sun leaves the other side of the world, heading this way, but there's a lot that can be done before night becomes day Outside this world there are obligations to others and to those who we never voted on, never really chose This world where men act as provocateurs and coquettes eyes glisten with a hard sheen behind cigarettes From these shadows relationships, friendships, hammered out We have no last names, and first ones are stammered out Attempting to impress where it comes off as a act Where my entire speech comes off showing me as a man with little tact. It could be secret hot-pink smiles and a flash of leg I'll offer to take a night flight with you...but I won't beg It could be a flat-out "You wanna go home with me?" That gives us pause. So small everyone knows everyone else So tiny people know that I'm a slob And it's our own tiny Bikini Bottom He's Krabs, you're Squidward, she's Sandy and I'm SpongeBob But that matters not. For it's all we know Social interaction between them and I is slow. I find myself going slowly off the rail biting nervously at my right thumbnail. Tick, clock, tick. I look at my watch. Much can happen before the sun gets here And disrupts my Night World, the escape for a few Where in the shadows it remains murky, not at all clear Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name But they point across the room and mouth "stay away from the flame." I miss Jimmy, and Angel, and when things weren't so hard When I could indulge my jealousies, and play each card. Outside, later on, I stand leaning on the wall watching the sky turn purple, than blue Saying "I'm going home alone tonight" So away I flew. Or so I thought. The smile means so much A pledge I take that in this agreed upon contract of casual sex That you'll get through it better than you thought you would From the shadows I observe my shadow world But I know how it'll end And I drop off to sleep, telling myself This'll be it tonight. And still I hope.Birth sign: Aries
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